Adoption is a precious act of sacrifice, of heartache, and love. Our adoptions have been defined as a beautiful mess.
Our adoption journey began YEARS before we brought home our two sons from the Democratic Republic of the Congo. It really actually began before I had ever even met my husband Todd, at a time in my life where I watched a sweet friend of mine who's daughter was adopted by an amazing family in one of the most sacrificial acts of love I had ever seen in my life.
After meeting Todd and talking about marriage, I had simply mentioned that the act of adoption was something that I wanted and felt strongly about because of the experience that I was able to witness. His response was simple. He LOVED the idea of adoption, knew that there are those that are called towards the act of adoption, but he simply did not feel the need to adopt for himself. I loved his honesty, but it really had broke my heart. I thought I knew that adopting was going to be apart of my life, but I also knew that God had called me to marry Todd. I was completely torn in two.
So instead of nagging or convincing him, I prayed silently, only asking twice if he had changed his mind. I heeded some amazing advice given through a friend. I remember so clearly her words (I wonder if she even remembers giving them). As I held her newborn adopted son and I shared my heart of adoption... with my two older kiddos running around and our husbands talking... she looked at me and said, "you both need to be on board and ready to adopt, no amount of convincing will prepare him. Adoption is hard, you need to both be in it together."
We needed to start our journey on the same page. From this moment forward, I knew that I had to simply pray through it. Pray that God would change his heart or mine. 11 years into our marriage, his heart changed and I was beyond excited. I jumped at the chance to start the process of adoption. Those hard words to hear were heard 6 years before we started the process, but were some of the greatest advice I have ever been given. Those words of wisdom would solidify our journey when things got hard, they echoed as I cried after bringing home my sons and things were hard and they gave us hope as we moved forward in other adoption process.
I love adoption. I love the journey that we are on in our adoption processes. I love that it is a journey of a lifetime. It is riddled with hurt and heartache, but it truly is a beautiful mess. BUT let's be honest... I love that it gets easier with time.