Kiss the Wave

Thursday, October 13, 2016

The imagery for this quote is deeply connective for me. The ocean speaks intensely to me in a way that makes me feel connected to Jesus (& to my dad who is waiting for me in heaven). It causes emotions within me that are only mine because of how deeply they cause me to feel. There is not a place on earth that I can feel more connected to my Jesus then sitting on a beach. Listening to the waves. Hearing the seagulls, laughter, and the wind. Not a single place. So God using the imagery of the ocean in my life is not a mistake or a surprise.

A number of years ago I sat amongst a group of women who I had only known for a short instances (they were dear friends of a dear friend). They gathered around me to pray for me (hello amazing community of people who love Jesus so much the will come together for a complete stranger). One of these sweet ladies shared with me that God had given her a vision that she was to share with me. It was of me floundering in the waters of the ocean, waves ripping about (I envisioned no land in sight), Jesus reaching down towards me, and me doing a push/ pull thing with God. I would reach out to him and then pull my hand back. The image was such a parallel for my life in that moment and life began to make a whole lot more sense as I processed that image.

That push/ pull, reach out/ let go was a literal translation to my life. It was what I was doing to God. Crying out and pleading. Him reaching down and embracing. Me retracting and trying to do it on my own. Me drowning in the waves that just kept coming. That were relentless. That were painful. Distracting. Frustrating.

One day that imaged changed. I remember the exact moment it had changed. I knelt down on the floor of my office and wept deeply. I had been praying for God to intercede in my life. That I would release the control I was trying to have over the circumstances in my life. With that... an image. (Can I just say that I love how God speaks to us). The push/ pull, reach out/ let go had become a clinging to the rock with waves hitting me at my back image. Tightly holding on. Legs wrapped around the rock. The tears flowed. I was no longer floundering in the open ocean... I had found a Rock. I was clinging to Jesus with all my might. I had let go of my control and allowed God to do his thing. My YEARS of floundering. YEARS. They had finally met the Rock. I had finally managed to cling to Jesus in the way that I was supposed too. Letting go of control. I could see the shore while I was clinging to the Rock, but I was not yet safe and secure on the shore.

I have come to find such peace and rest in clinging. Thankfulness in that clinging. The one thing that kept me there, clinging desperately, was the repeated waves that hit me over and over again at the back. Initially, I thought I had to get to that shore. That safe and secure place, but now I rest against the Rock. No need to sit on the shore because this deepness that I have experienced in the midst of my clinging, I never want to lose that profound sense of need. Charles Spurgeon says, "I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages." It truly is what I have done. I have learned to cling tightly to the Rock, but I have also learned to turn and kiss the wave.

Kiss the...
+ suffering
+ dispair
+ trials
+ struggles
+ frustrations
+ hurts

... because each of those things has pushed me towards that Rock. The Rock of Ages. The one that I can cling too with desperation. The one I have needed to cling too deeply. The Rock that is solid, secure, and always there. I have learned to "kiss" those things.

They have driven me towards...
+ growth!!!
+ understanding
+ hope
+ relationship
+ openness

Towards Jesus. Did you catch that? JESUS. They have given me this deep need to know and understand who Jesus is and who he wants me to be. Do not lose sight of that need to understand Jesus. That understanding that your circumstance could be driving you towards Jesus.

Can you turn and kiss the wave? View the wave in a different way? Not as something that is causing you to drown, but something that is pushing you into a deeper relationship with Jesus?

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