Honestly Authentic

Friday, October 7, 2016

How can we address relationships without honesty? How can we cry out for community while remaining utterly silent? How are we able to long for deep friendships when we are too afraid to share our true self? Why do we forget the importance of honest living in our friendships?

By definition honesty is not just telling the truth. Honesty goes past not simply lying and dives towards our principles, intentions, and actions. It is being sincere, genuine, and upright. It reveals something so deep inside that can tend to be fearful over or hesitant to share. Or it can simply be the truth that you share with excitement and joy. So why do we as women tend to hid the truth of our true self? Our authentic self. Why do we forget all the things we desire deeply (relationships, community, friendship)?

Unfortunately it is simply. It can be summed up in the word COMPARISON. We allow ourselves to play the game of comparison. Allowing comparison to rob us of our joy and happiness or become bitter, frustrated, and angry. It truly is not intentional that we allow comparison to do those things. People's happiness is a blessing as we see those around us flourish and thrive, but when we feel like we are standing still, that happiness can feel threatening and self doubt settles into our daily thoughts and routines. We hide our honesty for fear that we will drive away something within our friendships and relationships or be seen as something less then what we want other to see us as.

We must keep something in mind. "You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody." (Maya Angelo) One day you will realize how unbelievable and beautiful you are on the inside, that the impact you have on the those around you is ridiculously amazing, and that your strength is what others are encourage by as they watch you. Be brave. Put aside your comparison of your life to others and share deeply and honestly... because you matter. Your words matter. Your heart matters. Your story matters.

When each of us enters into authentically honest relationships, we can allow two things to happen, we can hide from our true selves under the cloak of not being enough, fearful for what others might think or perceive our situations or we can enter into our relationships authentically and honestly with a deep sense of encouragement. Not allowing our comparisons of one another to jade our relationships, but rather walk through life with others in amazing times and hard times.

3 Things to Start Being Honestly Authentic

1. Do not compare yourself to those that are around you. I struggle deeply with this element of life. I fall short daily in my comparison of myself to those that are around me. Those who are my closest friends. I compare their successes with my lack of success. Their houses with my house. Their children to my own children. I tell you this simply so you know that in now way have I mastered this part of life. It is a constant and difficult struggle that holds me back in being honestly authentic. Trying to see the beauty and imperfection in things is charming. More importantly, it is a choice. We can either allow our joy to be robbed by what our minds and hearts do or we can do the opposite and find strength and encouragement in our differences and contentment in our circumstances. We are allowing comparison to limit our relationships with one another and it has to stop.

2. Recognize that you are enough. Psalm 139:14 states it so beautifully, "You are fearfully and wonderfully made." Marvel in this for a moment. You are made the way you are ON PURPOSE. Created to be who you are in Christ for a reason. What a passionate picture of wholeness when we think of it in terms of how God has allowed us to be created, fearfully and wonderfully, with purpose. Purpose of loving Jesus and loving others. Encouraging others. Showing others Jesus. Not comparing ourselves to others, but coming alongside others because of how we are created. I love that picture of genuinely in being enough.

3. Go honestly into relationships.  Honest relationships allow others to build their trust in you. Building a mutual partnership of encouragement, love and support. Your honesty in your relationships helps other to develop in their own sense of self as well. Honest authenticity does not mean that we bare everything negative in our lives, but it does mean that we allow people to walk through our hurts and happiness of life. Encourage others to let go of their comparisons of others in their lives and draw towards a deeper friendship that drives out comparison, embraces joy, and builds a relationship of encouragement. You can be an influencer. You have the beautiful power to affect change.


  1. Replies
    1. Thank you Kirstin. I deeply appreciate you joining me on this journey.


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