a little update on a big thing.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

i am so bad at blogging right now.
not because i haven't thought about writing, but because i have been waiting to figure out what i should write.  so i will do a little update about a big thing.

a few months ago i began reading the book "restless" by jennie allen.  the intro to the book on the back cover says this: what if this feeling wasn't a bad thing?  It could be a longing for more of God and a catalyst to living the life that was designed before the foundations of the earth were laid.

drenched within the first few chapters of the book are the beautiful idea of a dream.  a vision perhaps of what God is calling us to do in this unique time in our lives.  "every single on of us is designed to fit into a unique space with unique offerings." (page 4)  "our mattering doesn't depend on a stellar performance.  we matter because we are children of the living, breathing, reigning God of the universe. we matter because we were bought with the blood of the Son of our Father God.  he set us in our spots and in our time." (page 14)  "we have come to treat God as if he exists for us, rather than us existing for him.  as if he is supposed to fit our plans, rather than our only plan being to know him and to follow him.  God is big, but he moves into the small.  God cares about eternity, yet he cares about every second of every human's life.  that is who we serve." (page 28)

i dared to dream & began to ask God what next.  what did he want me to do?  where did he want me to be? what did he want of me?  he answered.  but i still questioned.  i asked again.  i waited.  continued to ask to make sure.  (maybe i should have learned this prior to this moment.  but my fear apparently runs thing sometimes… okay often.  i am working on it.)  and then i was certain.  because the thoughts never stopped coming.  never changed.  and only continued to grow.  until i finally gave in and told todd (completely ready for him to laugh).  his response i will never forget.  "it's about time.  i have been waiting for you to say this."

thus a vision of a ministry was born.

{the short version}:
a ministry focused on helping adopted kiddos & families heal through several different avenues of "therapy" (including neurofeedback) with no cost to families.  yep.  i am going back to school.

{the longer version}:
as todd & i searched through several styles of parenting adopted kids we wished there was someone local who was willing to walk our journey with us.  there is no one here in eastern idaho that is an attachment therapist who believes that connection is the way to heal our kiddos.  NO ONE.  i am seriously not even joking.  we have met road block after road block.  we wanted someone close to where we lived to walk through our journey with us, un-judged with our questions and concerns (oozing empathy and compassion).  our city is filled with people who have adopted.  i see them when i take my boys to neurofeedback every other week.  walking through the stores in town.  there is an group of people out there.  and we ALL need help and encouragement.  to quote a very wise and wonderful person.  "there are 10% of people who will admit & tell you that parenting adopted kiddos is hard, the other 90% are likely not telling you the truth."  (thank you steph for that.  it gets me through sometimes).  we believe that a child who is connected, is a healing child.  the "methods" and "approaches" we take are ALL about the connection we make with out kids. the connected child by karyn purvis & the whole brain child by daniel siegel are two of the most encouraging books we have ever read in relation to all four of our children.  scripture is dripping with the idea of connection.  connection with Jesus… through love.  and man have i learned this year as i have studies the word love that love is shown in more ways than we can ever imagine.

God gave me a direction in which to go.  He showed me what & how.  i was going to go back to school & get a second bachelors in psychology & then continue on to get my masters degree.  my prayer has been this entire time that God would continue to open or close doors, despite my fears, and begin to reveal the how.  and he has.  he gave me what college i was going to attend.  (i was graciously accepted.  all of my other credits transferred.  all i have is upper division psych classes to complete.)  i applied for a grant. (i received the full amount of the grant… unfortunately they only allow it to cover 2/3 of the tuition costs).  my summer session starts in may.  i will be taking psychology of personalities & developmental psychology.  i am in the process of figuring out the remainder of the tuition… BUT GOD has this completely.  todd and i have been in awe of how this entire thing has played out.

the greatest thing is that todd sees this as a ministry for our entire family.  not just me.  he continues to add to my heart and vision for families.  we have this "big dream" that i am not ready to share yet… but if God continues to open things up… it will be amazing.

 because every post needs a picture.  here is levi getting excited.

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