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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

where to start.

first.  God is amazing.  truly amazing.
he is healer.

shout out to my clifner clan & neurotherapy northwest in spokane washington.

those who helped us get there.  in prayer & financial support (you know who you are).

a little over two weeks ago, the boys hopped into my car & made a long trek to eastern washington.  it should be said that i HATE to drive.  i am a GREAT co-pilot.  but driving is so not my thing.  i built a bridge, got over my fears, and drove.

and GOD moved.

our first stop.  missoula.  the boys and i swam.  we laughed.  trudged through snow that wasn't there when we went to bed, in our flip flops & flats.

second stop.
a ranch where a family we barely knew, opened their home up to my chaos.  we arrived and immediately started our healing.  we hooked the boys up to neurofeedback less than an hour after we got there.  and i loved it.  we were there, with a mission.  and we plowed through.

the boys and i had our initial scans (the boys scans are from june).  and we went for it.  we each did about 1 1/2 to 2 hours of neuro each day (i am all movie-d out).  titus was the most driven.  he did not give up.  he drank his water like a champ.  and kept going.  wanting to get his "brain strong".

and strength happened.
a week and 1 day after we got to spokane, the boys re-scanned.
i cried.
happy tears.

to see the changes on the brain was beautiful.
but to see the changes in their eyes (especially titus) was precious beyond measure.

we kept at it for a few more days.  the boys and i.  and ms pam (rockstar is the only word i can use for this woman).  the healing was amazing.

please know this: any child adopted has emotional trauma brain.  it's inevitable.  how could they not?  seriously?  how can we not see this?  (i saw it in a brain scan & my boys experienced "minimal"* trauma in DRC).  they are abandoned (even if they tell you it wasn't a big deal... it is).  face the facts.  they are hurting inside.  it will not heal when they stuff it down (levi totally does this).  the brain is a big place that they are able to "conceal" their hurts... even if they don't share it.  also, there are ways to help the healing.  heal the trauma.  i SAW IT!  experienced it!!!  titus had the most severe emotional trauma of the two boys.  when we rescanned... it was mostly gone.  chunks of it had been healed.  GONE.  truly gone.  and we are reaping the blessings of that healing.  their maturation of their brain jumped from 4 1/2 to 7/8 (titus)... he's 6. 3 to 5 (levi)... he's 4.  proof that God heals through the modern technology he has blessed us with.

GOD IS GOOD.  please continue to pray.  we are not done.  levi has had the hardest time with the "new brain" adjustment.  my poor boy is a little off, but God is working through that to change my heart towards what God is doing through him.

this is the day we got home.  love these two little guys to pieces.

*i use minimal loosely.  but our boys had their birth parents until they were 3 1/2 & 5 1/2  years old.  and those are huge jumps in development.  they both love their birth parents (as do we).  they nurtured, carried, and loved their boys deeply.  and those things make it the emotional trauma "minimal".  but they could not shield them from everything.  they witnessed a lot of bad things.  and lets not forget they they were left at an orphanage. even if it was for only 7 months before we came to pick them up.  and the physical abuse that happened in the orphanage hurt titus the most & shut levi down to some things that we have to work on.

i just read from a very dear from of mine... she said, "healing is a journey, it is not a destination."
amen to that.
our journey continues.

but MAN.  God is amazing.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks so much for sharing your journey....Yes, Ms. Pam is a ROCKSTAR!!!
    We are heading there again tomorrow. I am so thankful that we live close and only have a 90 minute drive.
    Continued prayers for your family. ((HUgs))


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