no (tears). no (fears).

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

family hike.
complete bliss.
no issues.
no tears.
no fears.

just pure joy.
filled with hilarious laughter.
crazy kiddos.
& a {mom} who NEEDED this.
more than you can ever understand.
well i can think of a few friends... you know who you are... who can understand.
this (& watching pitch perfect) makes me happy.

nothing profound.  simply being a family.  having fun.  getting to know each other.  learning how to trust one another.  healing through fun.

our road towards the boys was not simply.  our road since the boys has not been simply, however, i was reminded by a very special & wonderful person... that God gave me these sweet babies.  he knew before the beginning of ALL time that these two sweet faces would be mine.  he knit us together.  on purpose.  & he doesn't knit together junk.  i was reminded that i would have the joy and responsibility to raise them.  as if i birthed them.  i would get to show them love for the rest of my life.  i would get to show them the love of a family.  i get to be the one that loves them through their hurts.  i get to forgive when i don't want to forgive them again.  i get to give, when i have nothing left.  but more importantly... i would get to show them the LOVE of a SAVIOR.  i get to show them Jesus.  WOW!  i get to show them who died for them.  i get to show them who is fighting for them.  i get to show them the ONLY constant, JESUS.  but really... they also show me Jesus.  because lets face it.  i don't deserve grace.  or mercy.  or a SAVIOR.

but somehow i have it.
i have been given grace... so i will give it to them.
i have been shown mercy... so they will get mercy.
i have a hope because i have Jesus... so i will show them Jesus because i don't know where i would be without Jesus.

the Jesus that they know died on a cross.
the one that "loved the soldiers who nailed him to the cross" even through the "soldiers didn't love Jesus"... (those are their sweet words)... but i also get to show them Jesus that WILL bind up their wounds (psalm 147:3),  that IS fighting for them (exodus 14:14 & james 1:27) & is mighty to save (zephaniah 3:17-20)

because you know what.  Jesus WINS.  he does.  
right?  he WINS friends.  in he end & in the beginning.
HE WINS.  he actually already WON.  he WILL heal their hearts.
he WILL heal their pain.  he WILL & IS healing mine.  he will continue to fight for them.
he WILL continue to use their stories to either bring awareness to those in need, to show the gospel of Jesus, & he will continue to use them to mold my family into the BEAUTIFUL MESS that it is.
the mess that knows nothing more than the need of a Savior.

the mess that brought my jeremy to tell me he wanted to be a pastor so that he can take students all over the world to help those that need to know Jesus.  the mess that helped my sweet ashlynn ask me if she could go work in an orphanage in Africa to help the kiddos know Jesus and the nannies (she called them the mama's... that's what our boys call their nannies) know that Jesus loves them.  the mess that brought us two beautifully wounded sons who i cry for daily.  pray for hourly or often by the minute.  boys who have taught me patience beyond measure, to allow others opinions to be forgotten, & that it REALLY is ALL about Jesus.

Jesus WINS.
i used to tell the boys this.
like i was trying to convince them.
convince myself.
but now i boldly tell them that he does.
with conviction.
with hope.
with excitement.
because he does.
because he DID.

it's blurry... but it totally captures him.  he is hilarious when its just us.

he told me i looked "cute" & wanted it framed by his bed.  i look horrid... but for him.  just about anything.

my sweet kiddos.  all 4 of them.  together.  forever.

1 comment:

  1. You guys are amazing, Summer! I'm glad that God is giving you glimpses of light and laughter. Keep running, girl!

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