15 weeks.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

here's our adoption update.
we are seeing God's goodness.
God's grace.
God's love and compassion for us.

we have no new news, but we see that through all of it... God is GOOD.  he shows us love daily.  bestows compassion upon our aching hearts.  and gives us hope when we don't think we can take it any longer.  2 weeks ago we received a very sweet picture of our youngest son.  {oh how i wish i could share it with you ALL}.  he is so precious.  when i opened the email from our case worker with the picture attached i was eating lunch with ash & jt.  i started shaking.  crying.  he has changed so much since we first received our referral.  he looks so much older.  but the one thing that remains the same... his piercing eyes.  they are the deepest shade of brown you can ever imagine.  even in the picture, you look into them and you see deep down into his soul.  a good friend of ours that we showed laughed and said he & jt were going to get into some trouble together.  it's true.

a few days later, another email came in, telling us that the boys were doing great in the orphanage.  as precious as that picture was, i would take an update on how they are doing over the picture any day.

it's such a leap of faith.  this adoption process.  the waiting.  the unknown.  because you wonder what is going on each and every moment that they are away from you.  you speculate on the sound of their voices.  you try and guess what shoe size they wear.  you pray deeply that they are getting enough to eat throughout the day.  you hope that someone plays with them.  hugs them.  kisses them.  what if they fall and scrape their knee... who will pick them up & love them through the tears.  last night i woke up at 2 o'clock am.  that's 9 o'clock am in congo.  the boys have started their day while i am wishing i can back to sleep.  it's hard to think about, them starting their day without us.  because i want them to start their day with us. 

but i know that soon, they will start their mornings the same way we do.  with the crazy rush of breakfast before school.  listening to me try and get jt to brush his hair before he leaves.  asking the kids if they have brushed their teeth.  the general chaos that never seems to elude our mornings.  soon enough the big kids will be off to school & my little kids will be waiting with me.  in my home.  in their home.  i cannot wait.

this week we should hear an update about our case.  i have prepared (or i should say i am trying to prepare) myself that there is no change in our court case.  but i am HOPEFUL that there will have been.  but in the case that there is still no signature on the piece of paper... we will still see Gods goodness.  we still know that he is fighting for our boys daily.  he is fighting for our family.

so we wait.
with hope for a blessed email.
announcing that our sweet boys are ours.
not simply in our hearts.
but on paper.
our hearts already know what the paper has yet to determine.
they are our sons.
ash & jt's brothers.

-a positive update from our agency.

-health for the boys.

-funds to be raised.  we are having a garage sale on saturday to help with our plane tickets.

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