happy july 3rd.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

{five} years ago today.
can you remember what you were doing?
i am sure i can come up with a guess as to something i was doing.
possibly prepping for my favorite holiday.
making fun shirts for my kids.
setting up places we were going to meet friends & family.
finishing my dad's birthday present.
getting stuff ready.
nothing unusual.

{but 5 years ago today... my life changed}.
and i had no clue what was going on.
i had no clue that in a moment in time...
thousands of miles away.
my life instantly changed.

because {five} years ago today, i had no idea that my second son was born.
that his sweet life began in a tribe in the middle of the congo.
i hold no understanding of what engulfed the day.
no clue as to the events that proceeded his birth.
it seems unfathomable to even try to imagine.
so unimaginable, that i can't help but try and paint a picture.
a picture filled with questions.

what time did you make your entrance into our world?
was it at night?  in the morning?
who was there when you were born?
did you cry for a long time?
where were you born?
who held you first?
were you born with lots of hair?
were there tons of people excited that you were born?
do you even celebrate the day that you were born?

{these questions} will forever fill my thoughts today in years to come.  because they are questions i will never have the answers too.  answers i will never be able to give to him.  but those unanswered questions will not define him... or define his part in our family.  what defines him today is that it is his last birthday without us.  it is the last birthday he will have where there won't be a cake & candles & excitement & pure celebration.  it is the last birthday where he will go to bed without todd & i wishing him a happy birthday, giving him tons of kisses, and loving him to pieces.  it's his last birthday where there aren't people calling to wish him a happy birthday.  or the last time that doesn't end with him & his brothers setting off fireworks in the front yard. 

but today is the first time we will celebrate the day of his birth.  it is the first time we will sing happy birthday to titus gary lukumuena.  it is the first time we will make him a cake.  it is the first time we will truly celebrate his life.  it is bittersweet.  he is not here to celebrate with, but nonetheless he is our son... and the brother to ash & jt... so we celebrate him today.  we celebrate because in just a few short months (please Jesus a few short months) he will be here with us.

happy birthday titus gary!  we cannot wait until we get to love on you, hold you, laugh with you, and care for you here at home.  i pray that today was filled with unexplained joy, that you were able to have fun, that someone hugged you, kissed your sweet head, and that you had a blessed day.  i pray that you simply smiled... that you know that we are coming to bring you & levi home.  today we feel blessed to simply be your parents.

we love you beyond what you can imagine.  happy birthday to our favorite 5 year old.


  1. Summer, I'm so excited for your family! This is truly a bitter sweet moment but man this kid has NO IDEA what kind of family he is getting ready to be apart of. He is one lucky kiddo! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITUS GARY!

    1. thanks jackie... we feel so blessed to have him our family. i am almost certain that he will show us so much more about who God is than we could ever hope to show him. we feel like we are so lucky to have these two boys coming to be apart of our family. love you friend. praying for you in czech!

  2. Oh this is so sweet! I love adoption stories, my little sister was adopted and I can't imagine our family without her.

    1. shawna... thanks so much. the adoption of our two sons in africa has already blessed me beyond my deepest imagination. i cannot even begin to imagine how blessed i will be when they are home.


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