how do you decide?

Monday, March 12, 2012

this has been my struggle this past week. 
how do we decided?

God has placed a call on our life to adopt an older child.  when i say older, i mean between the ages of 3-7 years old.  you would be surprised at the number of children who will not get adopted simply because they are a little bit older. 

it breaks my heart.
causes me to weep.
keeps me awake at night.
tossing and turning.
hoping sleep will simply come quickly.
because i cannot think of the children who will be left.
i cannot think of the sweet faces that will remain.
feeling like, 'why not me?'
i wrestle with numbers.
i ask God for clear guidance and direction.
i plead for the lives of these children.
i ache for the lives of these children.
faces i have never seem.
lives i may never know.
hearts that i will never truly bind to mine.

so how are we supposed to choose just one? 
one child when i wish i could take them all home with me.
give them love.
a place to call their own.
a place to be an individual.
a place that represents them.

please pray in the next few weeks... as we await our referral, that God would place in our lives the perfect child, for our little family, that he would know us in a way that we cannot describe, that we would know him in that same way.  pray that our home study would move quickly.  that all our paperwork would be finished in a way that blows our mind away.  that in those moments we can say, only God could have made that happen.

also pray for a sweet friend of mine who is adopting through the same agency as us.  pray that they would raise their money for their adoption quickly.  they are very close in the process to us... they are a little bit ahead of us.  pray that God would orchestrate it so we all get to go over to DRC together.  it is the desire of both our families to do so.  i love you jeff & kara brown!

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