the last time.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

i remember the last time i saw her.  the last time i looked at the only grandmom i have ever known.  that i have ever truly loved.  it was a year ago.  in october.  she was leaving my cousins wedding reception.  as they were wheeling her out of the backyard, i gasped.  i slowly followed.  it was in that moment that i knew i was looking at her for the very last time.  i am not sure how i knew, but the ache gripped my heart so intently that all i could do was cry.  i leaned down.  hugged her.  kissed her on the cheek.  told her i loved her.  and watched.  standing next to me, my aunt asking if i was okay, i simply nodded, but in reality i was broken.

on sunday night my grandmom catalde went home.  she passed quietly in her sleep.  there was no change in the movement of the earth on its axis.  the sun & moon will still rise with consistency.  no catastrophe to mark the life that was taken from this earth.  instead, in the peace of the night, she left.  she leaves behind 2 sons, 2 daughter in laws, 7 grandchildren, 5 great grandchildren.  she entered into heaven greeted by a savior, a husband, and her son... my dad.  she was a beautiful person.  i sit on my couch and look around... my house is marked with things that were once hers.  a quilt.  a pin cushion she made.  pictures.  but my most treasured items are these beautiful letters she gave me.  letters written years ago.  some over 120 years ago.  she gave them to me because as a child, i would sit and look through all of them.  through her pictures.  getting to know where i came from.  where my story began.  because it didn't start the day i was born.  it started with my grandmom.  those letters, they mark the history of her life.  words of love.  loss.  joy.  i forever have her in my memories.  in my heart.

grandmom... as you dance amongst the angels, will you do something for me?  will you hug my dad.  tell i miss him.  that i love him.


3 comments:

  1. Summer, I'm so sorry. It's been such a difficult last couple years for you. This was a beautiful post, a moving tribute to your grandmom. Made me cry...

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  2. I am so sorry for your loss. I know how special it is to have a piece of her so dear. I'll be praying of you and rejoicing for her party in heaven.

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  3. How beautiful that you have such a special history of your family in these letters. Thank you for sharing about your grandmother... I loved hearing about her. I pray that God comforts your sweet heart.

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